You Are the Solution

For every problem, there is a solution. For every question, there is an answer. For every despair, there is hope and for every defeat, there is victory.

This truth is never fully grasped by us until we are hard pressed and we have nothing else to do than to fight back and get the problem solved.

The resilience, determination and great effort exerted by mankind in times of adversity vividly demonstrate that we are the solution to every problem that confront us, and if we are really serious about solving any problem that confronts us, we will certainly find the solution, because we are the very solution.

Our reaction to the flood incident that recently occurred in our country Nigeria demonstrates that we truly hold the answer to every question life throws at us. As at the time of writing this article (October 2, 2012), some states in Nigeria including, but not limited to Kogi, Benue, Bayelsa, and some states in the Eastern part of the country were worse hit by the flood that came off the release of the water of our dams.

The devastation caused by the flood is unbelievable! In some parts of Lokoja environs, many houses, properties, farmlands and even the roads were submerged. In Ibaji Local Government Area of Kogi State, the story is the same.

Many people who lost their houses, properties and farmlands were displaced, but sheltered temporarily by government and individuals.

Although there was nothing we could do to stop the flood, we were able to find solution to the problems caused by the flood.

While we sympathise with those that were affected by the flood, we should remind ourselves that we hold the solution to all the problems caused by the flood.

The help, assistance, finance, food and philanthropy that came from the Federal, States and Local Governments as well as from concerned citizens, have clearly shown that we are the very solution to every problem we encounter.

The magnanimity of our governments and some concerned citizens have strengthened my faith in the excellent ability of mankind to love, help and do what is right. I have always believed that if we want to change, we can change; if we want to love and be good, we can actually love and be good. We are the solution to all our problems.

Lessons for Victorious Living

From the angle of solution, the problems caused by the flood and our reaction to them have brought to light some vital lessons that will help us proffer concrete solution to every problem we encounter.

Below are four vital lessons for victorious livings:

1.   Where there are Problems, there are Solutions

One reason we get discouraged in life is that in our worst moment, we fail to realize that there is a solution to every problem we encounter in life. We fail to realize that right within us (in our mind) lies the solution.

The Book of God, the Bible has warned: “Guard your heart (mind) with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.” The way to guard your mind is to refuse to entertain negative thoughts in your mind. Constantly fill your mind with positive thoughts. You have to force yourself to believe that there is always a solution to every problem you encounter.

When you encounter problem, don’t throw your hands up in despair. No amount of problems you face should make you despair to the point of not knowing how to find solutions to them.

Where there are problems, there are solutions. The solutions are within you and that makes you the solution to all problems you face.

The problem is not that there are no solutions; the problem is our lukewarm attitude and lack of seriousness in taking time to find the solutions we need.

You may not be able to stop the flood, but at least there are some things you can do to survive the flood.

2.   Every Solution Counts

Any solution that will take you a step away from mishap, loss of life, harm, injury, etc, is a relevant solution.

Some solutions are palliative, some are temporal, others are permanent, and some others are immediate. In times of trouble, any solution you can quickly find counts.

What may not look like a solution, ordinarily, could be the best or immediate solution you need to solve a particular problem you are facing.

That is why it is irrelevant trying to go for solution that appeals to you.  A solution that may not appeal to you could be the very solution you need in times of trouble. So, what is important in troublous times is any solution that will take you off harm or destruction.

Do you know that when the flood hit some parts of the country, the government and concerned citizens did not waste time trying to construct a permanent camp for victims? Doing so would not have been the best solution. The best solution at that moment was to provide temporary camps for the victims of the flood using the classrooms of our primary schools all over the towns and localities. The government simply shut down our primary schools temporarily in order to deal with the emergency situation at hand.

It is a temporary arrangement any way, but I tell you: that is the best way of solving any problem that requires urgent solution.

In times of emergency, what you should be thinking about is what you can do at that moment to improve the situation. While the situation improves, you can then think of permanent solutions.

So, in times of adversity, don’t overlook or ignore solutions that will provide temporary or immediate relief. What is important is staying from harm.

In times of problem, every solution that will bring some urgent relief is relevant. Don’t allow the situation to get worse by trying to implement permanent solution.

What matters in any emergency situation is emergency solutions. Every solution counts in times of emergency, provided it brings emergency relief and comfort for the very moment.

3.   Power Your Life with Desire

One great need of man is the desire to survive. This desire has gingered man to advance from Stone Age to the present Information Technology (IT) age. One great advantage of problem is that it gingers us to be creative, innovative and productive. And this is what keeps mankind progressing day by day.

Dear reader, if you are surrounded by problems and you are fed up and discouraged, I have good news for you. The good news is this: every problem that comes your way contains the seed of greater benefit.

Existence of problem forces you to think of solution to the problem. Some problems actually ginger you to take some steps and by taking these steps, you eventually discover the great potentialities within you.

You may never know or appreciate the power within you until you are desperately desirous of finding solutions to problems that confront you.

My great concern is not the number of problems, obstacles and oppositions that are bent on holding you back from making progress in life. My great concern is whether you really desire victory over these problems. You must desire positive change before you can actually see the change.

There is power in desire. This power can force you to come up with solutions to all problems standing on your way.

The lesson we can learn from the flood that hit parts of our country, Nigeria recently is that for every problem, there is a solution. For every question, there is an answer. For every despair, there is hope and for every defeat, there is victory.

We are the solution to every problem that comes our way. We don’t need to throw our hands up in despair. There is always something we can do to bring a positive change. God has given us the brain we can use to think of solution to any problem.

Having problems is not a terrible thing, what is terrible is not knowing what to do to solve the problems.

Dear reader, you already have what it takes to proffer solutions to all problems that confront you. Don’t surrender yourself to any negative situation no matter how worse it may be. No problem should leave us disorganized.

In times of problems, learn to calm down and think, not worrying. Thinking is different from worrying. Worrying does not and cannot solve any problem, but thinking does.

Learn to calm down and think. Force yourself to think of what to do to solve the problems that are standing between you and your heart’s desire.

You are the solution to every problem that confronts you. Begin to generate the solutions now and start applying them. You are on the path to victorious living!

How to Switch from Boredom to a Fulfilling Life

This article is sequel to the article titled, “Pursue Your Heart’s Desire.” It is an article that explains how a full-time house wife turned her boring lifestyle to a fulfilling and prosperous one. To read the article, click here: PURSUIT OF DESIRE.

Here in this article, we are going to discuss the success secret of this woman’s life and business.

In the Enterprise and Finance Counselling Clinic (EFCC) organised by the National Directorate of Employment (NDE) on Thursday August 25, 2011, at Zone 1, Wuse, Abuja, Nigeria, I had the privilege of listening to this enterprising and inspirational housewife cum business tycoon.

 NDE is an agency of the Federal Government of Nigeria saddled with the responsibility of job creation through entrepreneurship training.

It has been the usual practice of NDE that in all their programmes, they always ensure that those they would use as resource persons in their programmes are those whom they have trained or those that have benefited from them. This woman happened to be one of them.            

Grabbing the microphone and with a broad smile, she shared with us how she switched from the life of boredom to become a Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of her multi-million naira furniture company.

In this article, I have distilled 13 inspirational and valuable lessons from the woman’s success story as shared by her. I urge you to read through this article and also endeavour to apply what you read. You too can do something to turn your life around for the better.

      i.        Don’t Die of Boredom

Don’t die of boredom; do something about it. If you are not satisfied with any circumstance or situation you are in, don’t surrender to it. Look for the solution. The truth is, you are not created to be ruled or overwhelmed by circumstances. You need not allow yourself to be bored by any circumstances. Get agitated and start looking for concrete solution to the boring life you are living in.

    ii.        Follow Your Heart

Don’t try to be like other people. Other people may like to do certain things they love, but if it is not your interest to do same, don’t try to be one. If you try to be one, life will be boring for you.

Stop wasting your time trying to be like others. The truth is, you can never achieve true success and fulfilment by choosing to be like others. If you choose to be like others, you are not likely going to be the best God wants you to be.

The secret of fulfilment is: follow your heart. Don’t seek the approval of any person. Once you are convinced that your heart’s desire does not infringe on other people’s rights, or violate the laws of God, go after it. WHAT WILL DISTINGUISH YOU IS WHAT YOU GIVE YOURSELF TO.

The woman gave her whole self to furniture making and became extremely successful and fulfilled.

   iii.        Stick to Your Opinion

Don’t expect others to reason or think the way you do. Don’t expect everybody to agree with anything you are doing and don’t expect others to believe in your goals and aspirations.

What others think is wrong, may be the right thing for you. People don’t really know what you are good at, what you are passionate about and what will make you great in life. They don’t know about your capabilities; it is only you that know what you love doing and what you are capable of doing.

People did not take the woman serious for going into furniture making. They thought she was out of her senses, but she proved them wrong. IF YOU ALLOW PEOPLE’S OPINION TO INFLUENCE WHAT YOU DO IN LIFE, YOU CAN NEVER BE THE BEST THAT GOD WANTS YOU TO BE. Never be afraid of people’s opinions. Their opinions are not as important as yours.

IF YOU ARE CONVINCED ABOUT WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO, DON’T LET ANY PERSON’S OPINION PREVENT YOU FROM DOING IT. Stick to your own opinion. Pastor Femi Emmanuel, initiate of Living Spring Church International said, “Your inner conviction creates your outer condition.

 It is your CONVICTION that helps you to switch from boredom to a fulfilling life. When you are convinced about anything you wish to achieve, don’t allow any person’s point of view to influence you. Stick only to your own opinion.

  iv.        Take Your Business Serious

When the woman bought furniture tools and started repairing and making furniture, it was like a joke. She was not taken serious by anybody. But she took herself serious. For others, what she was doing was senseless, but for her, she was into serious business and so gave all her heart to it.

Others may not take you serious, but you must not fail to take yourself serious. Believe in your goals and aspirations. Believe in what you are doing. When you believe in what you are doing, you can never be discouraged by any person or thing. It is when you are not sure of what you are doing that you will be quickly discouraged and frustrated. Take everything you are doing serious, for as the woman said, “Business is not a joke.”

   v.        Get Down to Work

“When you start working”, says the female business tycoon, “you will inspire others to be serious in life. When they see you working, they will be encouraged to go and find something worthwhile to do.”

The importance of getting down to work is that you are not only being fulfilled, you are also encouraging others to find true success and fulfilment. You need to realise that others are watching you. When they find you busy all the time, they will be encouraged to do something worthwhile too.

There is the problem of the “folding up of the arm” (laziness) in the country today. Many people are idle. They don’t want to work. When people are idle, poverty will continue to ravage the land.

In the National Radio Network News sometime lasy year 2011, it is reported that poverty rate has gone up to 69% and that 71.5% of the populace are poor in the country.

And government is also not helping matters. I believe if people are willing to work and government is willing to create jobs for those who cannot employ themselves, poverty will be reduced to the barest minimum.

Let us encourage each other by getting down to work. Hard work pays. It is laziness that kills. As you inspire others through your hard work, you will also be inspired the more to work harder. As you work harder, so also you progress faster.

  vi.        Set Good Example

The female business tycoon is not an arm chair CEO. She is the CEO that believes in setting good examples for her staff to follow. For her, management goes beyond sitting down in the office and dishing out instructions to your staff. You have to be there to supervise, to check work standard, and to show them how things should be done.

Staff are motivated when you set quality standard for them to follow. When they come to know that you don’t compromise quality standard for anything, they will learn to focus their energy on meeting the standard.

According to her, “Make people think about good things they can do by setting the example.”

vii.        Know Your Work

In any business, trade, vocation, or profession you are engaged in, it is essential that you know the nitty gritty of it. Know what you are doing like the back of your hand.

It is the knowledge and skill you acquire that will enable you to successfully maintain standard, supervise your staff and dish out relevant instructions for purpose of maintaining your set quality standard.

 Your knowledge and skill are also relevant at the initial stage of your business when you are not yet able to employ workers to work for you. As the CEO and employee of your own business, your knowledge and skill are indispensable. The woman’s knowledge and skill enabled her to single handedly take her business from the scratch to a flourishing one.

Viii. Be First-class Person

Whether you are producing products or rendering services, you must always go first-class. Essentially, people are not buying your produt or service, they are actually buying the QUALITY of your product or service.

Businesses which produce poor quality product don’t last long. According to the female business tycoon, ‘To be an example to the society, you have to be a first-class person.’

She went on to explain that the country of Italy is known as the home of best fashion because its citizens produce quality fashion products including, but not limited to furniture and upholstery.

She also enthused that her company maintain high quality standard at all times and that was why the company continued to thrive.

The lesson here is that to ensure long lasting success in our business, we must produce and sell quality product or service. If you give customers/clients quality and satisfy them, they will keep coming and bringing more prospects to you.

viii.        Read and Rule the World

The female business tycoon also attributed her success to reading. Most of what she know and did were gotten from the avalanche of books she had read and is reading. Her advice to us was: “You should cultivate reading habit. If you can read, you can rule your world.”

X Attract Patronage by Putting in Long Hours

One way of attracting patronage, according to the CEO, is that one should put in long hours of work. She said that at the time she was speaking to us, (August 25, 2011), her company was producing 800,000 sofas within an interval of four months.

Said she, ‘presently, I am producing 800,000 seatings within four months. When you put in long hours, people will come to you.’

I think this is very important because people are looking for business/people that can deliver, that can meet deadline and that can be trusted.

  

Xi Start Small

The CEO started her furniture business from home. When she started, it was like a joke. People did not take her seriously. She started with their old furniture they have abandoned in their home. Gradually, she started making progress until her company became a big one. Her advice is: ‘All businesses started small. Don’t expect too much. If you expect too much, you will choke.’

xii. Effective Marketing

Another success secret of the CEO that she revealed to us is effective marketing. Marketing plays a vital role in her business. In addition to constant promotion and advertisement, she was also in constant touch with her customers. She had their contacts and so communicated constantly with them. Said she: ‘Get your customer’s phone numbers and communicate constantly with them about your business and products.’

Xiii. Excellent Customer Service

Another success strategy adopted by this CEO was the excellent customer service her company renders to all. Below are some of the customer services that she shared with us:

·       Treat customers –big or small, rich or poor – very kindly.

·       Listen to customers. Try to understand their needs and ensure you meet their needs.

·       Keep your promises and ensure your customers are satisfied.

Dear reader, I have no doubt in my mind that you have been inspired and motivated by this article. As someone once said, ‘There is no surer road along the way to success than to follow in the footsteps of those who have journeyed before us.’ I believe if we can follow the footsteps of this successful entrepreneur, we will also achieve great success in our own endeavour.

Until I come your way soon, go and be victorious in your business world!

When Divorce becomes a Necessary Evil

Divorce is an act people don’t really contemplate or think about. Everyone wants to enjoy a happy marriage for the rest of one’s life. But sometimes, people are forced to call it quit with their marriage. In some instances, spouses are able to mend or put their marriage on the right track. In other instances, parties have no choice than to divorce.

Under Nigerian law, dissolution of marriage is not permitted on a platter of silver. It is permitted as a last resort. Dissolution is supposed to be a NECESSARY EVIL. Necessary evil in the sense that, even though both parties never contemplated divorce from the onset, yet they have no choice than to divorce. And if they fail to divorce, things will become worse than they are at the moment.

Someone has said, “Divorce is like amputation; you survive, but it feels like there is less of you. And it is worse if you didn’t want the divorce.” A necessary evil you might say.

Going by God’s law, the Bible, marriage is expected to be a life-time affair and as such, the idea of divorce is a last resort, a necessary evil.

The question now is, when does divorce becomes a necessary evil? Under our law (Matrimonial Causes Act), divorce is permitted only WHEN THE MARRIAGE HAS BROKEN DOWN IRRETRIEVABLY. For this reason, our judges are reluctant to grant a decree of Dissolution Absolute. The judges always ensure that all avenues are explored (including alternative dispute resolution mechanism) to reconcile both parties. When they cannot be reconciled, then the necessary evil – the decree of dissolution Absolute will be granted.

But what constitutes the circumstances in which the court will hold that a marriage has broken down irretrievably? Or what will make the court to come to the conclusion that the marriage has broken down irretrievably?

Well, our law (the Matrimonial causes Act) stipulates the following circumstances:

1.      When there is a lack of consummation;

2.      When adultery is committed and the petitioner finds it intolerable;

3.      When the party’s irresponsible behaviour such as habitual drunkenness, intoxication, conviction for crime (within five years) or where the petitioner is left without reasonable support, convicted for attempted murder of petitioner or inflicting grievous harm, etc.;

4.      Where the spouse deserts the other for a very long or unreasonable period without any explanation;

5.      When both parties lived apart for two or three years;

6.      Failure to comply with the Decree of  Restitution of conjugal Rights; and

7.      Presumption of death.

O yes, divorce is a necessary evil. But from my point of view as a motivational expert, divorce can be averted by REFUSING YOUR MARRIAGE TO BREAKING DOWN IRRETRIEVABLY. There are two ways you can do this:

1.      By ensuring you don’t do the seven acts above. Those are the acts the law recognise as circumstances that cause a marriage to break down irretrievably; and

2.      Both spouses should be determined to work hard to ensure they enjoy a happy marriage. Where any of the parties is no longer interested in continuing with the relationship, then, keeping the marriage afloat may be difficult because there is a saying among the Igala people that: “It is sticks that you bind together; you don’t bind two persons together.”                                            

Will you prefer to work mutually to enjoy a happy marriage or will you choose the necessary evil?

CONSULTATION

For consultation, enquiry, or question on marital issues and otherlegal issues, contact:

Sunny Adaji Esq

+2347061016859

Email: conqueror.adaji30@gmail.com; or sunnyadaji@hotmail.com