When Divorce becomes a Necessary Evil

Divorce is an act people don’t really contemplate or think about. Everyone wants to enjoy a happy marriage for the rest of one’s life. But sometimes, people are forced to call it quit with their marriage. In some instances, spouses are able to mend or put their marriage on the right track. In other instances, parties have no choice than to divorce.

Under Nigerian law, dissolution of marriage is not permitted on a platter of silver. It is permitted as a last resort. Dissolution is supposed to be a NECESSARY EVIL. Necessary evil in the sense that, even though both parties never contemplated divorce from the onset, yet they have no choice than to divorce. And if they fail to divorce, things will become worse than they are at the moment.

Someone has said, “Divorce is like amputation; you survive, but it feels like there is less of you. And it is worse if you didn’t want the divorce.” A necessary evil you might say.

Going by God’s law, the Bible, marriage is expected to be a life-time affair and as such, the idea of divorce is a last resort, a necessary evil.

The question now is, when does divorce becomes a necessary evil? Under our law (Matrimonial Causes Act), divorce is permitted only WHEN THE MARRIAGE HAS BROKEN DOWN IRRETRIEVABLY. For this reason, our judges are reluctant to grant a decree of Dissolution Absolute. The judges always ensure that all avenues are explored (including alternative dispute resolution mechanism) to reconcile both parties. When they cannot be reconciled, then the necessary evil – the decree of dissolution Absolute will be granted.

But what constitutes the circumstances in which the court will hold that a marriage has broken down irretrievably? Or what will make the court to come to the conclusion that the marriage has broken down irretrievably?

Well, our law (the Matrimonial causes Act) stipulates the following circumstances:

1.      When there is a lack of consummation;

2.      When adultery is committed and the petitioner finds it intolerable;

3.      When the party’s irresponsible behaviour such as habitual drunkenness, intoxication, conviction for crime (within five years) or where the petitioner is left without reasonable support, convicted for attempted murder of petitioner or inflicting grievous harm, etc.;

4.      Where the spouse deserts the other for a very long or unreasonable period without any explanation;

5.      When both parties lived apart for two or three years;

6.      Failure to comply with the Decree of  Restitution of conjugal Rights; and

7.      Presumption of death.

O yes, divorce is a necessary evil. But from my point of view as a motivational expert, divorce can be averted by REFUSING YOUR MARRIAGE TO BREAKING DOWN IRRETRIEVABLY. There are two ways you can do this:

1.      By ensuring you don’t do the seven acts above. Those are the acts the law recognise as circumstances that cause a marriage to break down irretrievably; and

2.      Both spouses should be determined to work hard to ensure they enjoy a happy marriage. Where any of the parties is no longer interested in continuing with the relationship, then, keeping the marriage afloat may be difficult because there is a saying among the Igala people that: “It is sticks that you bind together; you don’t bind two persons together.”                                            

Will you prefer to work mutually to enjoy a happy marriage or will you choose the necessary evil?

CONSULTATION

For consultation, enquiry, or question on marital issues and otherlegal issues, contact:

Sunny Adaji Esq

+2347061016859

Email: conqueror.adaji30@gmail.com; or sunnyadaji@hotmail.com