Money and Relationship (2)

Welcome to part 2 of this article. Talk about contentment, contentment doesn’t mean we should remain in our poverty situation and do nothing about it. Contentment doesn’t mean we should stop making effort to improve our financial status. 

The mistake some men make is that they jump into marriage without putting money in its proper perspective. They undermine the role of money, thinking that when they get married the situation will improve. But after getting married, instead of improving, the situation gets worse.

They make their wives and children to undergo untold hardship. Provision of basic necessities of life becomes a difficult task to them, not even to talk of children’s school fees, welfare or luxury.

Laying the Proper Foundation

Laying proper foundation for a successful marital life implies allowing money to play its role in the relationship. If you undermine the role of money in the relationship, you would put the entire members of the family into hardship.

There are men who jump into marriage without having a source of income or a reliable source of income. Some are jobless, but because they have reached the age of marriage, they jump into marriage. To such men, time is of essence. Of course, time is of essence to us all. But then, the role of money in a relationship should not be undermined. 

There are some believers who “exercise their faith” by jumping into marriage without having money or source of income. Their belief is that as soon as they get married, God will turn around the situation positively.

I wouldn’t condemn this act of faith as faith can be applied in every situation. If I condemn this act of faith, it means I am contradicting myself, because this is what CFVL is teaching. CFVL teaches among other things, faith as a prerequisite for victorious living. 

In fact, a learned female colleague of mine has told me some time ago about a fresh graduate believer who had no job or money but took a step of faith and contracted a marriage. Thereafter, job opportunities came and the man is now financially sound! Fine! Great act of faith!

But the problem with this “act of faith” is that many people who take this step are not doing so out of faith but out of fear. They are so gripped by the fear of marrying at a very late age that they thought the wisest thing to do is to quickly contract marriage and start having children. After having several children, the situation gets worse. They can’t pay their children’s school fees. They cannot buy clothes for their wife and children. And some cannot pay their rent. They make the entire members of the family to suffer untold hardship due to their “act of faith.”

One reason CFVL will not encourage men and (women) to exercise their faith by jumping into marriage without a reliable source of income is that most time, such steps are not really steps of faith, but steps of fear – fear of not getting married on time. The consequence of this step is untold hardship. 

The point is this: if you are believing God for a personal issue, there is no problem because you would have the patience to bear it. You would be willing to wait patiently for God to grant or honour your act of faith. But where you are dealing with a family issue – wife and children – and you don’t plan for their welfare in advance, but jump into marriage, you may find it difficult to carry them along with your “act of faith.” They would bear the brunt as your act of faith would bring them hardship. 

 

On this issue of jumping into marriage by faith, without having a reliable source of income, some churches would not permit their members to do so. I have heard of two great ministries (churches) in Nigeria that would first of all investigate the source of income of the suitor, his residence and other relevant matters before they approve of his marriage. If the suitor has no job and has no home (rented apartment or personal), his marriage may not be approved.

This is also the position of CFVL. The proper step of faith you should take in your marriage plan is to first of all consider the interest of the wife you will marry and also the children God will bless you with.

If you take the interest of your wife and children into consideration, you would realize that jumping into marriage without a reliable source of income is wrong. There is a scriptural passage backing this point. The Book of Success, the Bible says: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Timothy 5:8). 

CFVL is saying you should bring in money to play its role in a relationship. You should not undermine the role of money in your relationship. The interest of members of your family is paramount. Your interest shouldn’t conflict with their interests all the time. 

You may already have a wonderful family in spite of your low income, but you can enjoy a happier and more fulfilling marital life, if you work harder to improve your financial position. 

Dear reader, as you make your bed, so you lie in it. In your relationship, remember to consider the role of money. Don’t ever undermine the role of money in your relationship. And until I come your way soon, go and put things in proper perspective and you will live victoriously now and ever!

NB: watch out for part 3 of this article which shall come your way soon. Don’t miss it!