Travails and Triumphs of Great Destinies (7)

vii.        If Your Destiny is Great, It would Require Patience with the Destiny Moulder

 Welcome to the 7^th and final part of this article. Almighty God, the destiny moulder, knows when to perfect your destiny. He has the perfect timing for your destiny. He sets the pace and holds the ace. You only have to comply with Him and He will mould your destiny perfectly.

God’s pattern of moulding our destiny is analogous to the moulding pattern of a potter. We are clay in the hand of God and He desires to mould us into jewel of inestimable value, provided we yield to His perfect timing. The Creator will not mould your destiny shabbily. He does it methodically and satisfactorily.

However, the issue is: Your timing will not rhyme with God’s timing. You may want it done quickly. But God, who is all-knowing, may feel it is not yet time to perfect your destiny.

The problem with us is impatience. We often complain: “Time is running out, time is running out.” We are right in a way. But you think the Almighty God, the creator of heaven and earth, is not aware of it?

What makes you think your own timing is as good as God’s.? Do you think God will withhold good things from you without having good intention for doing so?

One important truth we should keep reminding ourselves is that God has a good and great plan (destiny) for everybody. When you don’t achieve your goal at the time you want it, it doesn’t mean God has witheld it or God doesn’t love you.

We should not allow impatience to make us question the love of God for us. God’s love is unconditional. People may hate us with a passion, but God doesn’t.

We need to deal with the problem of impatience before it drowns us. Impatience can bring discouragement and make us to become prayerless and unserious about our spiritual life.

THE WAY TO DEAL WITH IMPATIENCE IS TO LEARN TO ACCEPT GOD’S WILL AND SUBMIT TO HIS PERFECT TIMING. When we realize that God’s timing for our life is perfect and that He has a great plan for us, then, there shall be no room for impatience.

If you have been praying and God has not answered your prayers; and if you are yet to succeed, you need to be patient with God, the holder and moulder of destinies. Keep on praying and working.  

God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. OUR WAYS AND THOUGHTS CAN NEVER BE AS GOOD AS GOD’S. So, let us learn to accept His will for our lives. Let us exercise patience all the time. He will work out everything for our good.

WHEN THINGS ARE NOT WORKING OUT THE WAY YOU EXPECT, LOOK UP TO GOD AND BE PATIENT. PATIENCE IS THE BEST MEDICINE. IF YOU HAVE PATIENCE, YOU WILL HAVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT.

Remember also: good things don’t come quickly. They come slowly. Like the fruit, your destiny does not germinate, grow, mature and ripen within a short period. Don’t expect your destiny to unfold instantly. Your destiny is right now in the hand of the Creator of the universe. He alone can bring out the best that He placed in you.

As I round off this 7^th and last part of this series, I urge you to keep on trusting God and waiting patiently for him, and in the end, you will triumph over every travail!

Three Mistakes Men Make That Negatively Affect their Marriage

We have more marriage problems in the society today than there was before. Some of these problems are caused by suitors (men). There are certain steps suitors normally take which negatively affect their marriage.

From personal observation, I have come up with three mistakes men make which negatively affect their marriage. It is my opinion that if men can stop making those mistakes, they would avoid some problems that may threaten to destroy their marriage. Here are the three mistakes suitors make:

1.   Inadequate Preparation

Like any worthwhile venture, marriage is worth preparing for. Being a lifetime relationship, marriage demands much more preparation. As a result of pressure from parents, friends, relations and other people, some men are forced to jump into marriage without adequate preparation.  

Before jumping into marriage, the man should be physically, mentally, spiritually and materially prepared. The man has to be financially prepared also. In this 21^st century, lack of steady income on the part of the man can negatively affect his marriage, because as the head of the family, he is financially responsible for the upkeep of the family.

In our culture, whether the wife is an income earner or not is immaterial. But for the husband, there are no two ways about it. He must be financially strong. That is why the husband is called the breadwinner.  It is necessary for a husband to have means of livelihood.

Proper preparation will take care of the need of the wife and children. Proper preparation will also help the man to cope physically, mentally, materially and spiritually in respect of challenges in the family in particular and extra marital challenges in general.

2.   Desperation

Emotion is as strong as the intellect. If you are going to enjoy marital bliss, you must learn to conquer your emotion. Some men jump into marriage not because they actually want to, but because of lust or infatuation. Once they satisfy their lust, the REAL LOVE that would keep the marriage going would disappear and marriage would come under threat.

The question to ponder is: are you marrying because of lust or because of love? WHEN YOU ARE SO DESPERATE TO MARRY AND YOU CANNOT TAKE RELEVANT ISSUES INTO CONSIDERATION, IT IS VERY LIKELY YOU ARE UNDER THE CONTROL OF INFATUATION OR LUST.

Infatuation or lust doesn’t build a happy home. What builds a happy home is LOVE. When you are marrying because of love, you will not be too desperate. Rather, you will take time to consider a lot of issues that are essential to make the marriage thrive. Lust without a strong desire to marry is desperation. Don’t marry because you are desperate; marry because of love and because of your readiness to marry.

3.   Blood Test

 
One mistake some men make is that they never advert their mind to the need to go for blood test. Medical doctors make us to understand that blood test is essential for both partners before getting married. According to medical experts, couples who are either AS/AS, AS/SS, AA/SS end up giving birth to one, some, or all offspring having SS as their Genotype.

In a simple way, persons whose Genotype (blood group) is AS or SS are persons that have sickle cell anaemia, a blood related disease. Again, HIV test is essential to enable partners determine their status. I think the importance of these tests is to enable partners plan well how to manage their lives.

Travails and Triumphs of Great Destinies (6)

i.             If Your Destiny is Great, It would Impact Lives

Welcome to part 6 of this article. What goal are you pursuing? Will your goal impact positively on the lives of people? If your destiny is great, it would impact lives positively. We are all created to be a solution to the problem of people. We are created to be the answer to the questions of people.

Men and women of great destinies are never found wanting in this respect. Anytime a problem surfaces, rest assured, God has equipped someone to deal with that problem. No problem is permitted to exist without a solution in place. The solution may not be available now, but the fact is: God has equipped someone to proffer solution to the problem.

What is the problem God has created you to solve? You need to discover it. This is because your success, prosperity and indeed your destiny is anchored on it.

Your life is not supposed to be stagnant. Like stagnant water, a stagnant life is unhygienic, unproductive and unprofitable. 

Persons of great destiny like Mahatma Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jnr., Margaret Thatcher, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Golda Meir, to mention but a few, impacted positively on the lives of their generation so much so that they are still and will continue to be remembered forever.

Men and women of great destiny focus on projects that benefit humanity. But people of little destinies focus only on what they and their family members stand to benefit. Great destiny goes beyond self-centredness.

IF WE ARE GOING TO BE THE BEST GOD WANTS US TO BE, WE HAVE GOT TO COME OUT OF OUR SELF-CENTRED LIVES AND GO OUT OF OUR WAY TO HELP SOMEONE IN ANY WE CAN.

We are created for a life of service to humanity. We are expected to help anyone that comes our way in any way we can, irrespective of our status in life.

We don’t have to be millionaires before we can help people. Money is not everything. In fact, there are many things that are more valuable than money.  Some little things like word of encouragement, message of hope and motivation, imparting knowledge and skill, training a child, praying for someone, establishing motherless babies home, or charity organization, just to mention a few, are more valuable than money.

INTERESTINGLY, YOUR SUCCESS, PROSPERITY AND DESTINY ARE TIED TO THE SERVICE YOU RENDER TO HUMANITY. If it is a blog/website that you can set up to provide valuable information, render quality service, sell invaluable products, or educate and entertain people, you are actually impacting lives in a positive way.

If it is a book you can write and sell to people to help them be the best that God wants them to be, this is real service you would render to humanity.

If you have been running from pillar to post looking for ways of achieving great success, you better get it clear now: running up and down will not help you. The arm of flesh will not help you as service to humanity will.

YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS IN LIFE IS SERVICE. THE GOLDEN WISDOM OF THE AGES IS: FIND A NEED AND FILL IT. Your responsibility is to look for what humanity needs. Then, you devote your life to producing, packaging and marketing it. When you do this, you will have a great destiny.

Until I come your way soon, go and find what the society needs and provide it for them! Then, you will triumph over travails. Go and live victoriously!

PS: part seven, which is the last part of this article, will be coming your way soon. Watch out for it and make sure you don’t miss it!

Per Adua Astra: Overcoming Hindrances to Stardom!

Dear reader, welcome to another moment of inspiration and motivation. One truth you must not ignore on your way to stardom is this: EVERY OBSTACLE STANDING ON YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS CAN BE TURNED TO STEPPING STONE ON WHICH YOU CLIMB TO REACH GREATER HEIGHT.

For this reason, you should stop seeing obstacles as hindrances to your success. When you are desirous of achieving great success in life, nothing can hold you back.

The story is told of two siblings. These siblings lost their parents when they were of tender age. They were taken to separate relations to be brought up. After twenty-five years, they were brought together for a reunion.

One of them became a successful man while the other became a drunkard. When their relations asked how the former became what he had become, he replied: “What do you expect of a person with such a humble background as mine? I lost my parents when I was a child I had no helper. This humble background of mine kept pinching me on my back and urging me to become successful in life.”

When the latter was asked about his own life, he replied: “What do you expect of a person with such a humble background as mine? I lost my parents when I was two. I had no person to support me. With this kind of situation, how do you expect me to succeed in life?”

Dear reader, we all want to be successful in life, but unfortunately, not all of us will achieve great success in life. The reason for this is not farfetched. The story of these two siblings contains some lessons we can learn and apply in our own lives. Let us look at some of these lessons:

1.   How You Handle Unpleasant Circumstances Determine How Far You Will Go in Life

The fact about life is that the circumstance of one’s birth or upbringing does not determine one’s fate in life. It is not where you come from that matters; it is where you make up your mind to be or go. Your background, race or colour has nothing to do with your success in life.

From the story of the two siblings above, it is crystal clear that they came from the same background. They had the same parents. They lost their parents at the same time. They were brought up separately by different relations. It was not that one of the relations that brought one of the siblings up was richer and so trained one of the siblings while the other relations was poor and so could not train the other sibling.

The two relations that brought the children up separately were not well-to-do. They only did the best they could to bring them up, and then left them to chart a course for their lives. One became successful while the other became a hopeless drunkard.

The reason why one became successful while the other did not is obvious: they both handled their unpleasant circumstances differently. While the brother that became successful used the unpleasant circumstance of his birth as a spur to urge him on to succeed in life; the other brother who became a drunkard, used the unpleasant circumstance of his birth as an insurmountable obstacle to his success in life.

The opinion you hold constantly about your life and future matters, as it will go a long way in determining how you handle circumstances of life. The brother who became a drunkard kept holding unto the belief that since he was an orphan and had no helper, there was no way he could succeed in life. Consequently, he never made any effort to become successful in life.

The problem is not the background you come from. It is how you see the background. If you see your background as an obstacle to your success in life, you may never be able to achieve great success in life. This is because you have already concluded that there is no hope for you as far as your background is concerned.

There must at least be a ray of hope before you can actually summon up the courage to get up and really work to achieve success in life. A person without hope is as good as dead. Such a person loses the fighting chance of succeeding in life.

When you lose hope in life, you incapacitate yourself. Just as you shut down your computer, feeling of hopelessness shuts down your mental, physical and spiritual power which you are supposed to use in achieving great success in life.     

But, if on the other hand, you see the unpleasant circumstance of your birth as a spur, hope will well up in you. This will turn on in you the very power system that you will use to achieve outstanding success. This is what the brother who became successful did.

He refused to allow the unpleasant situation he was passing through to hold him back from achieving greatness in life. Instead, he used the unpleasant circumstances to spur him on. Can you beat that! The very obstacle that some people use as an excuse is the very obstacle that some others use as a stepping stone to climb to the height they have set for themselves.

What is that obstacle you are using as an excuse for not making effort to succeed in life? As far as success is concerned, no obstacle or excuse is genuine enough to stop you from getting to the height you have set for yourself.

Regardless of the unpleasant situation you find yourself, you can make it in life. Nothing can stop you from succeeding in life if you make up your mind to succeed. You just have to stop seeing the unpleasant circumstances of your life as an obstacle to your success in life. Use the unpleasant circumstances to spur you on to achieve your heart’s desires.

IF YOU WANT TO GO FAR IN LIFE, LEARN TO POSITIVELY HANDLE EVERY NEGATIVE HAPPENING IN YOUR LIFE.

2.   Look Beyond Human Help

One excuse the brother who became a drunkard gave for his failure is that he lost his parents at a tender age and so had no helper. To him, the cause of his failure is the death of his parents. His belief is that if his parents were alive, he would have become extremely successful.

But this is not always the case. If it were so, the other brother who became successful would not have achieved that feat. His condition was not better off than that of his brother-drunkard. They were all raised up as orphans and it was not that the successful brother was given better treatment.

The fact is this: YOUR SUCCESS IN LIFE IS NOT LARGELY TIED TO HUMAN HELP. The Book of success, the Bible says: “A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven” (John 3:27). Everything you need and whatever you want to become, comes from God. Agreed, God does not send our needs to us like manna from heaven. Agreed, God uses persons to help us. That is why you must look up to God first, because unless God uses someone to help you, no one can help you. Left for humans, assistance is a scarce commodity. A person may want to help you, but he may not have the means. Some may have the means, but they may not be willing to help you. And there are categories of people who will constitute themselves as your enemies. These people may or may not have the means of helping you, but they are not interested in your progress.

This is why you must look up to God for assistance. God knows how best to help you. Keep calling on God and be on the lookout for those He will use to assist you. The Psalmist said: “Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man. Through God we shall do valiantly: for He it is that shall tread down our enemies” (Psalm 60:11-12).

Look beyond human help. The help of man is vain. Stop running from pillar to post. Start looking unto God for help. Unless God raises someone to help you, no one will. WHEN YOU CALL ON GOD, BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ANY HUMAN HELP THAT WILL COME YOUR WAY.

3.   Through Adversities to the Stars  

 The motto of British Royal Air Force is: “Per Adua Astra.” “Per adua astra” means through adversity to the stars. You can’t get to the stars without passing through adversities. We all want to be super stars, but what constitutes hindrances to many of us is the problem of facing all the obstacles that are piled on our way to stardom.

Many a time, we stop making effort to achieve our set goal because we are afraid of confronting obstacles on our way to success. In order to cover up our fear, we look for excuses we can give for our failure. And if we cannot find any, we manufacture one. The fact is: no excuse is reasonable enough to stop you from making it in life. IF YOU FIND SOMEONE REELING OUT EXCUSES AFTER EXCUSES FOR HIS FAILURE, IT IS AN INDICATION THAT HE HAS CHOSEN TO REMAIN A FAILURE.

In the story above, the brother who ended up a drunkard gave the excuse that because he lost his parents and had no helper, he could not succeed in life. But that is a flimsy excuse. His brother who became successful in life did not dwell on the same excuse. If he had, he would also have remained a failure.

ANYTIME YOU START GIVING EXCUSES FOR YOUR FAILURE, KNOW THAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO REMAIN A FAILURE. A MAN THAT IS BOUND FOR THE TOP WILL NOT HAVE TIME TO SET UP A FACTORY AND START MANUFACTURING EXCUSES.

Instead of giving excuses, he will use the excuses as a spur to urge him on to achieve massive success. Dear reader, on your way to the top, you will encounter adversities, but adversities are not meant to hold you down in failure and defeat. Adversities are meant to ginger you to be the best that God wants you to be. That is why you must not despair in times of adversity.

YOU CAN’T ACQUIRE THE STRENGTH TO REMAIN AT THE TOP UNTIL YOU HAVE PASSED THROUGH ADVERSITIES AND HAVE EMERGED VICTORIOUS. ADVERSITIES ARE THE PATHWAYS OF SUPER STARS.

Do you want to be a super star, then, listen: THERE IS NO SMOOTH WAY TO STARDOM. THE PATH TO STARDOM IS FILLED WITH ADVERSITIES. IF YOU FIND A SMOOTH PATH, THE PATH DOESN’T LEAD TO STARDOM.  The path that leads to stardom is the path that is filled with adversities. You will have to pass through adversities to get to the stars.

This is the lesson we can learn from the motto of British Royal Air Force: per adua astra. It is only through adversities that we will get to the stars. I urge you today never to use adversities as excuses for your failure. Rather, you should use them as spur to become the best that God wants you to be.

Until I come your way soon, go and put in the best that you can, with patience and perseverance, knowing full well that it is through adversities that you will get to stardom! Go and live victoriously!