Three Mistakes Men Make That Negatively Affect their Marriage

We have more marriage problems in the society today than there was before. Some of these problems are caused by suitors (men). There are certain steps suitors normally take which negatively affect their marriage.

From personal observation, I have come up with three mistakes men make which negatively affect their marriage. It is my opinion that if men can stop making those mistakes, they would avoid some problems that may threaten to destroy their marriage. Here are the three mistakes suitors make:

1.   Inadequate Preparation

Like any worthwhile venture, marriage is worth preparing for. Being a lifetime relationship, marriage demands much more preparation. As a result of pressure from parents, friends, relations and other people, some men are forced to jump into marriage without adequate preparation.  

Before jumping into marriage, the man should be physically, mentally, spiritually and materially prepared. The man has to be financially prepared also. In this 21^st century, lack of steady income on the part of the man can negatively affect his marriage, because as the head of the family, he is financially responsible for the upkeep of the family.

In our culture, whether the wife is an income earner or not is immaterial. But for the husband, there are no two ways about it. He must be financially strong. That is why the husband is called the breadwinner.  It is necessary for a husband to have means of livelihood.

Proper preparation will take care of the need of the wife and children. Proper preparation will also help the man to cope physically, mentally, materially and spiritually in respect of challenges in the family in particular and extra marital challenges in general.

2.   Desperation

Emotion is as strong as the intellect. If you are going to enjoy marital bliss, you must learn to conquer your emotion. Some men jump into marriage not because they actually want to, but because of lust or infatuation. Once they satisfy their lust, the REAL LOVE that would keep the marriage going would disappear and marriage would come under threat.

The question to ponder is: are you marrying because of lust or because of love? WHEN YOU ARE SO DESPERATE TO MARRY AND YOU CANNOT TAKE RELEVANT ISSUES INTO CONSIDERATION, IT IS VERY LIKELY YOU ARE UNDER THE CONTROL OF INFATUATION OR LUST.

Infatuation or lust doesn’t build a happy home. What builds a happy home is LOVE. When you are marrying because of love, you will not be too desperate. Rather, you will take time to consider a lot of issues that are essential to make the marriage thrive. Lust without a strong desire to marry is desperation. Don’t marry because you are desperate; marry because of love and because of your readiness to marry.

3.   Blood Test

 
One mistake some men make is that they never advert their mind to the need to go for blood test. Medical doctors make us to understand that blood test is essential for both partners before getting married. According to medical experts, couples who are either AS/AS, AS/SS, AA/SS end up giving birth to one, some, or all offspring having SS as their Genotype.

In a simple way, persons whose Genotype (blood group) is AS or SS are persons that have sickle cell anaemia, a blood related disease. Again, HIV test is essential to enable partners determine their status. I think the importance of these tests is to enable partners plan well how to manage their lives.