How to Abandon the “Blame Game” and Play the “Main Game” (1)

There are basically two games we normally play in life. It is either we are playing the “blame game” or we are playing the “main game.” The blame game is all about finding someone to blame for everything that goes wrong in our lives. The main game, on the other hand, is taking responsibility for everything that happens in our lives.

Whether we like it or not, we are all guilty of playing the blame game at one point in time or the other. The way we play the blame game is this: whenever we are suffering from prolonged misfortune and there seems to be no way out, then, out of frustration, we start suspecting every person and holding them responsible for our plight.

As a result of this, we see everybody as our enemies. And the more we see everybody as our enemies, the more insecure we feel each time we see them. By continuing to play this blame game, we continue to sink morally, spiritually and character wise. 

Some have so indulged themselves in this blame game that they become paranoid. They are not secure with everybody because everybody is their suspect. If you realize how destructive this blame game is, you will pity those that are indulging in the game.

Dear reader, if you have been indulging in the blame game, I urge you to read the whole of this article, for it is my hope that you will receive the inspiration and motivation to abandon the blame game and start playing the main game.

The truth is, blaming everybody for your misfortune will not solve or put an end to it. Suspecting everybody as the person behind your problem will not bring relief either. Blame game is not a game you play and win. No matter how long you indulge in it, you can never come out of it victorious!

You need to examine yourself very well. If you think everybody is responsible for the problems you are facing, then, think again. What is it you are doing that everybody has become your enemy? What is it you have that everybody is jealous of you?

Anyone who thinks everybody is responsible for his problems must examine himself or ought to be examined, probably by a psychiatrist. I am not a psychiatrist, but I do know that there is a psychiatric disorder called paranoia.

A paranoid person is an insecure person. He feels everybody is his enemy. The more he sees everybody that he suspects, the more troubled he becomes. Blame game players don’t normally win because blame game is not a game anybody can play and win.

If you think some people are responsible for your misfortune and you start seeing them as the ones holding the key to your breakthroughs in life, you are coming close to selling your soul to satan. Satan is a manipulator. Jesus called satan a liar and father of all lies. If you allow him to supplant suspicion in your mind, he may succeed in ruining your life.

Elsewhere in North Africa, a hawker was banished from plying his trade in a prohibited part of a city, by some law enforcement agents. Frustrated, the man set himself ablaze! That is the consequence of blame game for you! In this man’s opinion, the government of his country is the cause of his problem. Perhaps, they might have been pursuing him out of the city for a long time, and because of frustration, he committed suicide.

Now, let us analyse this incident so that you can see how destructive it is to play the blame game. There is government regulation banning hawkers and traders from doing business in a particular part of the city. The rule of law is expected to reign supreme in the country. As such, everybody must, of necessity, comply with the rule. The deceased is not the only man that is banned by the law from trading in the prohibited area.

Apart from the prohibited area, there are other parts of the city where hawkers can lawfully carry out their businesses. For other hawkers and traders, execution of this government law is a usual thing. 

But for the deceased, it was something unusual. Government is out to punish him. He is the only person the law enforcement agents are chasing all around. The government is the WITCH that does not want to see his face. If government doesn’t want him to do his business, then, he is not worthy to live. The witches and wizards (law enforcement agents) are all out to starve him to death. He can’t take it anymore. Before they starve him to death, he will rather take his life. Off he goes! Takes petrol and matches and sets himself ablaze!

This is pathetic! If only he stopped playing the blame game. If only he opted for the main game. After all, he was not the only one being chased around from one corner to the other. What if he had adverted his mind to the fact that:

• The law is supreme.

• The law is for the benefit of all and as such, it must be obeyed by all.

•  No one is witch hunting him.

•  The law cannot restrict him completely. It is only in the prohibited area of the city that he is being prevented from entering.

•  In the same city, there are places that government permits hawkers and traders to ply their trade.

Dear reader, one particular fact about the blame game is that the more you play it, the deeper you sink into oblivion. Blame game players don’t normally win. Blame game is not a game you play and win.

Take Responsibility

If things are not working the way we expect, the usual thing we normally do is that we look for someone to blame. Instead of playing the main game, we indulge ourselves in the self-destructive blame game.

Dear reader, it is impossible that offence will not come. Of course, you may have some enemies, but it is not everybody that is your enemy. If you take everybody as your enemy, you may never be able to break loose from the stronghold of the blame game.

To be victorious in life, you must abandon the blame game and start playing the main game. Now, what is the main game and how do you play it? The main game is nothing but RESPONSIBILITY. Winston Churchill said: “The price of success is responsibility.” THE STARTING POINT TO VICTORIOUS LIVING IS TO STOP LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO BLAME FOR YOUR PLIGHT.

Your enemies might have been frustrating you over the years. Your enemies might have caused you the misfortune you are experiencing. BUT IT IS NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR ENEMIES TO UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE YOUR ENEMIES. THEY WON’T UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. IT IS, THEREFORE, STUPID TO TRY TO NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR ENEMIES.

What are you negotiating? To negotiate with your enemies is to sell your soul to satan. Satan has no god thing to offer. The Book of Success, the Bible, says: “The devil cometh not but for to steal and to kill and to destroy.” (John 10:10).

It is your responsibility to resist the devil. The Bible says: “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7). If you are under attack by satan and the enemies of progress, you don’t have to go about seeking sympathy from “arms of flesh” that do fail.

When it comes to spiritual matters (and even non spiritual matters) you don’t negotiate with your enemies. Your enemies are ever ready to ignore you and seek ways to worsen the very situation they have caused.

Enough of that blame game. Stop blaming everybody for your plight and start taking the responsibility for solving the problems confronting you. YOU CANNOT EFFECTIVELY SOLVE THE PROBLEMS CONFRONTING YOU UNTIL YOU STOP BLAMING PEOPLE.

THE REASON WE ARE BLAMING OTHERS FOR OUR PLIGHT IS THAT WE ARE NOT YET READY TO TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF HANDLING OUR PROBLEMS. THE RESPONSIBILITY OF UNDOING WHAT THE ENEMIES HAVE DONE IS YOURS. IF IT IS GOING TO BE, IT IS UP TO YOU. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH, IT IS UP TO YOU.

But the way to undo what your enemies have done is certainly not blaming everybody for it. Everybody cannot be against you. If you blame everybody for your plight, how does that help to solve your problem?

You don’t solve problems by blaming everybody for the problems; you solve problems by taking responsibility. The path to victorious living is taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life, even if you are not the cause of the problems or even if everybody is the cause of your problems.

Make up your mind today that you will stop playing the blame game and start playing the main game. And until I come your way soon, go and live victoriously!

 NB: please watch out for part two of this article which will come your way soon. don't miss it!