SPECIAL FEATURE: MAKING GREATER IMPACT

It is gratifying to note that Centre For Victorious Living (CFVL) is one year old this Month, July. This online motivational and personal development blog was set up July last year, 2011 for the purpose of empowering people for victorious living.

Looking back so far, I can confidently say that it has been so good. Of course, there were challenges here and there, but they could not stop CFVL from impacting lives positively.

I give thanks to Almighty God for giving me the opportunity to make positive contribution to the advancement of mankind through the inspirational and motivational articles I write and post regularly on both my free and paid blog – centreforvictoriousliving.blogspot.com and centreforvictoriousliving.com respectively.

My passion, my mandate is to give people hope. Hope is the anchor we need to survive the storms of life. This hope is not mere hope, but hope that is firmly rooted in the Book of God, the Bible. This Book of Life holds the answer to every problem of life. It also reveals to us the mind of God towards us. One of God’s plan for each and every one of us is to have DOMINION over the earth. We are mandated to RULE our world. And to enable us carry out this order, God deposited within us unlimited potentials. We are expected to deploy these unlimited potentials to achieve success, prosperity, and victory.

It is God that gives us power to get wealth. And it is His will that we should prosper. And to prosper, we must align our God-given power with the success principles embedded in God’s Word.

The contribution of CFVL is to teach these Biblical principles for success and victorious living. Every human principles and ideas will fail. Only God’s principles can earn us success and victory. CFVL is here not only to teach God’s principles for prosperity and victory, but to inspire, motivate and give you hope.

God’s plan for us all is to give us a FUTURE and HOPE. As far as God’s plan for us is concerned, we are to prosper and be victorious. If you have not yet made it, it does not mean you will never make it. If you don’t have money today, it does not mean you will not have it tomorrow.

The present unfavourable circumstances have nothing to do with your future. In God’s scheme of things, your past or present failure and defeat do not determine the quality of life you will live in the future.

The economic downturn cannot halt the plan of God for your life. The only person that can disrupt God’s plan for your life is YOU. The truth is, we are the determining factor for our own success in life. 

God has already made the provision for your success and victory. He has given you the power to achieve whatever you want to achieve. He has given you unlimited potentials to do great exploits. It now behoves you to harness these unlimited potentials, while applying God’s success principles in order to achieve your set goal.

The Two-Step Approach

Many books have been written on success, prosperity and victory. These books teach a thousand and one principles. However, if all these principles were to be distilled into a two-step principle or approach, I believe the following could be the best approach:

1.    Use the unlimited potentials God has given you to prosper and achieve victory.

2.    These unlimited potentials should be applied together with God’s success principles in order to achieve maximum success.

  1. Use the Unlimited Potentials Within You

The potentials God deposited in us has been likened to the sea which can never dry. Scientists have made us to understand that on average, we use only 10% of our abilities. The remaining 90% of our abilities we leave unexplored.

An up and coming screenwriter and dramatist once told me after writing a script, which by my opinion is a potential bestseller, that the script was the best he would ever write and that he could not come up with any script that would be better than it.

Just then I replied: “You are not right in saying that you can never produce something better than the present script you have written. The fact is, you can never run out of ideas. And as long as ideas keep coming, you will surely come up with ideas that will surpass the former ones. Similarly, you can never run short of the ability to translate the ideas into reality. If you can write such a great script, you can also come up with better scripts.”

Like this up and coming dramatist, we often fail to make progress in life because of the negative opinion we hold about our abilities.

It is important to note that our attitude – negative or positive – plays significant role in the level of success we achieve in life. Our negative opinion about our abilities, and not lack of abilities, is the factor that is holding us down in defeat.

Doubt or unbelief can be likened to the “Off” button of a desktop computer. When you press the “Off” button, it shuts down the system. In the same vein, when you start entertaining doubt in your mind, or when you start holding negative opinion about your ability, you are shutting down the unlimited potentials within you. Doubt and negative opinion are “Off” button. They shut down your ability when you dwell on them.

The problem is not your ability, but your negative opinion about your ability. The fact is, you can achieve anything you set your mind upon to achieve, provided you trust your ability to carry you through.

BELIEF IS THE ACTIVATOR OF YOUR POTENTIALS. Belief is the “On” button that awakens your potentialities. And it is when your potentialities are awakened that you can become capable of achieving greatness in life.

Never doubt your ability to achieve greater success in life, because God has already given you unlimited potentials. With these potentials, you can live the life God wants you to live.

There is room for improvement and there is no limit to what you can achieve, if you BELIEVE that you have what it takes.

Years ago, an apprentice learning under a great artist once came up with a very good portrait, which his master approved to be good. The boy was so excited about the art work that every day he spent a whole lot of time admiring it.

One day, his master took the art work from him and destroyed it. As he watched his masterpiece being destroyed, he cried.

His master called him and said, “No doubt, the work you did is good, but it is certainly not the best. You can do something better. What is restricting you from doing excellent work is that you kept gazing at this work thinking that this is the best work you can do.”

The apprentice grasped what his master told him and he later became one of the greatest artists of the ages.

What a great lesson for all of us! Regardless of our present level of success, we should not be complacent. We should not rest on our oars. We can do better. We can build bigger and we can achieve bigger.

Your present level of achievement is certainly not the best. You can do better than that. What is actually restricting people from advancing is that the hold unto the belief that the level they are now is the highest they can reach. And because they believe they can go no farther, they are never inspired or motivated to move to higher height. 

Dear reader, if you believe in God’s rich endowment on you; if you believe God has deposited unlimited potentials within you, then you also have to believe that there is no limit to what you can achieve when you tap into these unlimited potentials within you.

Where you are now is not the highest you can reach. You can go higher than that. You can make greater impact. You only need to constantly tap into the unlimited potentials within you. Keep tapping into it. Keep digging your goldmine. You cannot exhaust it. It is not possible to exhaust it.

The more you tap into the unlimited potentials within you, the greater your level of success. YOUR PROGRESS IN LIFE ONLY STOPS WHEN YOU STOP HARNESSING YOUR UNLIMITED POTENTIALS WITHIN YOU.  

2. Apply God’s Success Principles

For real success to happen, you must apply God’s success principles while harnessing the unlimited potentials within you.

Often, the reason for our under achievement is that we use our God-given potentials wrongly. We fail to realise that until we apply God’s principles for success, all our efforts will be in vain.

For instance, the “grab-grab” approach to wealth which characterise the world economy is not God’s way of succeeding in life. The “get-rich-quick” scheme is not God’s way to prosperity either. Attempting to succeed at the expense of others or violating the laws of God and the laws of man all in the bid to succeed in life can never lead to REAL success. Real success must be accompanied with peace of mind. Success with clean hands is REAL success. And the only way to achieve it is by applying (harnessing) the unlimited potentials within you without offending God and man. 

When you have a “conscience void of offence towards God and man”, real success can never elude you.

This is the kind of success CFVL focuses on and preach. There is victory for everyone who practises God’s principles for victorious living. God’s desire for every one of us is that we succeed and be victorious. 

Do you want to be up and victorious everyday of your life? Then follow God’s principles. Obey the laws of God and the laws of man.

The mission (mandate) of CFVL is to teach, guide, counsel, inspire and motivate you to practise God’s laid down principles for all-round success.

As CFVL celebrates its one year anniversary, it is more than ever before committed to constantly bringing your way uplifting and life changing articles for helping you stay motivated. For, it is only when you are motivated that you can actually get up and achieve the great success that God has ordained for you.

Till I come your way very soon, go and live victoriously!

The “Madness” of Faith (II)

Dear reader, welcome to the second part of this article. 

As it were, in the intellectual world, the subject of faith is not considered relevant. This is because it does not follow the line of human thinking.

In the intellectual world, for anything to be termed reasonable, sensible, believable and factual, such a thing must be something that can be seen, felt, smelt, perceived and heard.

In the intellectual world, the practice of faith is tantamount to pretence, stupidity, or madness. The subject of faith is a “no-go” area for the so-called “intellectuals.” They find it difficult to align faith with their intellectual power and prowess.

But is faith madness? How come that faith does not agree with human reasoning?

In answering this question, let me start with some illustration. Many years ago, a man called Marconi set out to invent the radio. Nobody, including the so-called experts believed he could do that; because then, by human reasoning, it was not possible for any person to transmit messages over a long distance.

Not willing to give up his effort, his friends thought he had gone insane and made the move to take him to the psychiatrist to be examined. But later, he invented the radio. Radio transmission is still with us today.

Many years ago, a man called Graham Bell toiled day and night to invent the telephone. He became a laughing stock, because then, by human reasoning, it was not possible to come up with an invention that would enable communication between two persons over a long distance. But Bell ignored the derision and the ridicule and went on to invent the telephone. Telephone is here with us today and everybody is enjoying it.

Many years ago, a scientist once said that in no distant future, man would fly. But people disbelieved him. They wondered how a scientist of his calibre could make such a “stupid” statement. Years later, the wright brothers invented the aeroplane. Aeroplanes are still with us today and they play a key role in the world economy.

The Grandeur of Faith

What point am I trying to make? The point is this: faith is not madness; it is super intellect. When you are operating by faith, you are calling into existence what does not presently exist and what your reasoning says cannot be brought into existence.

There is a limit to which our intellectual faculty can attain; but faith has no limitation. What our intellectual power cannot achieve is what faith can achieve for us. Faith enables us to see beyond what our five senses can see and perceive.

Living Beyond Limitations

It is important to note that even though God gives us the five senses to profit thereby, He expects us to live by faith also. IF YOU ARE LIVING BY FAITH, YOU ARE LIVING BEYOND LIMITATIONS. WHEN YOU OPERATE IN THE REALM OF FAITH, EVERYTHING YOU BELIEVE CAN BE ACHIEVED IS ACHIEVABLE! NO LIMITATIONS WHATSOEVER!

The inventors discussed above operated by faith. They believed in their ability to bring into existence what the human faculty says is impossible.

Now, let me tell you this fact: If those inventors had agreed with the people that what they were trying to invent was impossible, that would be the end of the matter. They would not have succeeded in bringing those products into existence.

So, we are not far from the truth if we conclude that it was by faith and not by their human intellect that they invented those products. IT TAKES FAITH TO BRING INTO EXISTENCE WHAT HAS NEVER BEEN IN EXISTENCE. IT TAKES FAITH TO ACHIEVE WHAT HAS NEVER BEEN ACHIEVED.

Faith Triggers Potentials

The role of faith in the accomplishment of great goals cannot be overemphasized. Faith triggers your creativity and potentialities. Once you start believing that you can achieve certain goals, you begin to wake up the “seeping giants” within you. THESE SLEEPING GIANTS ARE YOUR GOD-GIVEN ABILITIES AND POTENTIALITIES. WITH THESE ABILITIES, THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE. But you need faith to awaken these sleeping giants.

By believing in your abilities, powers you never dreamed you possessed will leap to your assistance. 

When you start believing in your ability to succeed, you will end up succeeding even when nobody believes you will succeed.

Great things are accomplished, not by intellect, but by faith – faith in the unlimited potentials within you.

Now, as we are about to step into the month of July, take up your shield of faith, keep wielding it and you will be victorious at the end of the day!    

The Path to Honour: Your Secure Ladder to a Glorious Life

Dear reader, welcome to another moment of inspiration. This week, I bring to you a very hard principle but yet it is your secure ladder to a glorious life. 

History is replete with people who achieve greatness without having anything. There is a secure ladder that is available for everyone which we can use to climb to higher height. You have no excuse to give for your present predicament. You may have no money, no connection, no helper, no godfather, but you have a quality that supersedes all these. This quality is the secure ladder you need to climb your way to the top.

The story is told of two friends who travelled overseas for greener pastures. When they arrived the foreign country, they were told that before they could be fully integrated, they must first be engaged in washing of plates. The first friend was willing to comply. The second friend resented the regulation. He said he never washed plates all his life, how then would he get to that country and be washing plates? The first friend then advised: “You have already arrived. If they asked you to wash plates before granting you access to greater opportunities, why not wash the plates in order to achieve your aim?”

Years ago, the executive of a Christian organisation narrated the story of three men resident in foreign land. On one occasion, the trio needed loan to finance their businesses. They then approached a bank for loan. In the course of their discussion with the bank manager, the manager told them that the bank could only grant them loan if they provided collateral securities.

The trio had nothing to offer. As they stood dumb before the bank manager, one of the them took his handkerchief, bent down and started cleaning the manager’s shoes. As he did that, he pledged to repay the loan if he was granted the loan.

Touched by the conduct and pledge of this man, the bank manager granted him the loan he applied for. The other two were not granted the loan they applied for. The beneficiary of this loan went away rejoicing for the package which later changed his fortune.

Now, the conduct of the beneficiary of the loan may not really appeal to you. It doesn’t have to. Nor am I asking you to go to the bank and do the same thing. But the lesson to learn from here is clear – humility. Humility! On your way to success, you need humility to fast track your progress. In a National newspaper recently, one of the serving Governors in the country granted an interview with the press and said that he was a shoe shine boy for Adekunle, a former military governor of a state in the country. Far away in Brazil, Da Silva, president of Brazil began life as a shoe shine boy. 

The path to honour has always been the same. It is humility. “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, and honour, and life.”

Nothing opens the door of opportunities than humility. It takes humility to attract help, wealth, and glory. A proud person would not stoop and because he would not stoop, he cannot rise up. He remains as stagnant as the lake. Only those who stoop can really rise. In life, you really have to stoop before you can rise higher.  

Years ago, a Zoology graduate tried all he could to get a job all to no avail. He buried his degree certificate in his bag, humbled himself and bought timbers, hammer and saw. He set up his furniture business.  Years after, he became a multi-millionaire, producing furniture.

Dear reader, the hard or bitter truth is, If you want fame and fortune, you must be ready to embrace some element of shame. You must learn to come down. Don’t be ashamed of doing a business considered very little or demeaning.

The fear of being ridiculed, or looked down upon will not make some people to seize golden opportunities placed before them. The bane of many people is that they cannot see beyond their nose. All they can see and are more interested in is the present.

So, once you have chosen the path of humility, they don’t reckon with you anymore. And this is good for you. If your opposition doesn’t see anything good in what you are doing, he would not be plotting to trip you.

Sincerely speaking, people don’t have trouble with “nobodies.” You are a “nobody” when you choose the path of humility, because nobody sees bright prospect in you or in what you are doing.

This is good for you because by being a “nobody” you will have no competitor, no rival, and no opposition. So, you are left alone to fire on with your project. But by the time your enemies or critics wake up from their slumber, it becomes too late for them to stop you. You have gone far!

Dear reader, do you want to surprise your enemies and critics? Do you want to change the orientation of your critics? Then choose the path of humility. Be willing to bend down. Be willing to do jobs or businesses that people consider to be little and demeaning.

There are no such things as little jobs or businesses really. They are “little” because the people seeing them are doing so with their little mind. The great motivational speaker and writer, Pastor Olumide Emmanuel said: “There are no menial jobs but menial minds.”

The test of greatness is the ability to turn ordinary things to extraordinary things. “A great man will make great opportunities even out of the commonest situations.”

People of little mind who existed when Coca-Cola was first started would laugh at Asa Candler, who used kettle and a ladle to produce the soft drink. Today, can we say that Coca-Cola initiative is a flop?

Dear reader, the path to honour is the path of humility. Humility comes before honour. As it were, all doors will remain closed, but the master key to unlock these doors is humility.

With humility, you can be victorious today and everyday of your life! Go and be victorious!

The “Madness” of Faith (I)

When you see success where others see failure; victory where others see defeat; and prosperity where others see poverty, it means you are not seeing them with your physical eyes. If you are seeing with your physical eyes, all you can see are failures, defeat, and poverty.

What you need to have in order to see beyond failure, defeat, and poverty is FAITH. “Faith,” the Bible says, “is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Heb. 11:2)

In other words, faith means a display of what you are hoping for. You have not got it yet, but based on the assurance of God’s promise, you already believe you have got it. Your actions, behaviour, conduct, and confession display that you have got it, even though you are yet to see the physical manifestation.

The “substance” and the “evidence” of things you are hoping for are your actions, behaviour, conduct, and confession.

Now, faith is at variance with our senses. That is why when you live, walk, and see by faith, you operate beyond the realm of the physical.

In his book, The Fourth Dimension, David (formerly Paul) Yonggi Chou explained how he started his ministry without congregation. He kept preaching into the air and empty seats until gradually worshippers started trooping in. Today, he is having one of the largest single congregational churches in the world.

  

When you walk by faith and not by sight, you will get outstanding results that will confound those that walk by sight.

There is no way you walk by faith that someone out there will reckon with you as a sensible, reasonable or normal person. This is because when you walk by faith, you don’t see or perceive things with your senses, but by the way you want things to be.

Faith is no pretence. Faith is not hypocritical. The Bible says, “For we walk by faith and not by sight.´2 or. 5:7) Victorious living entails seeing, walking, and living by faith. It is those who are not walking by faith that are pretentious and hypocritical.

Faith says, “Even though my senses perceive defeat, failure, and poverty, I choose victory, success, and prosperity. By faith I am victorious, successful, and prosperous.

The problem we usually have with walking by faith is that we want to see the physical manifestation before we believe. That is not the way Jesus operated. Jesus did not wait for things to happen before he believed. He acted based on His belief. Waiting for things to happen before you believe runs contrary to the life of faith.

IT IS THE STEP OF FAITH YOU TAKE THAT MAKES THINGS TO HAPPEN. Bemoaning your failure and defeat is not an act of faith, and it will not take you anywhere.

But when you “Call those thing which be not as though they were,” and you hold unto your belief, that is when great and mighty things will start to happen.

Faith is not a product of events and circumstances; events and circumstances are the products of your faith. IT IS YOUR FAITH THAT USHERS IN THE EVENTS AND CIRCUMSTANCES YOU DESIRE.

Below are three steps you can take to activate your faith:

a)   Believe in God’s Promises

The reason things happen for your good is because of God. That is why you must anchor your faith in God’s promises. You must believe that God is not man that should promise and will not fulfil it.

Stop believing in what your senses tell you. Stop believing in what your physical eyes see. Believe only in what God says. If you want to prosper, you must beleve that it is God’s will that you should prosper, and that He will prosper you as He promised you in His Word, the Bible.

b)   Confess and Speak into Existence What You Are Hoping to Get

For your faith to be established, you must not only believe in God’s promises, you must start confessing and speaking into existence the things you want to have which you have not got. 

That is what faith is all about. You are weak, but you confess that you are strong; you are poor, but you confess that you are rich; you concede defeat, but you confess that you are victorious.

What you say is what you get. You don’t have to get it before you say it. That is like putting the cart before the horse and you may not be able to move the horse. The way to get it is to speak it into existence.

c)   Act as if You Have Got it

Many years ago, in a drought-hit region of a country, a group of concerned Christians gathered to pray for rain. The prayer leader observed that the other member of the prayer group did not come with their umbrellas.

Your action, behaviour, conduct, confession and plan should show that you have got what you have been yearning for, though you are yet to see the physical manifestation.

The faith that produces great results is the faith that acts as if you have got it, even though you have not yet got it actually.

d)   Hold Unto Your Faith

Hold unto your faith even though your physical senses tall you different stories. There will always be conflict between your faith and your senses, but if you must be victorious, you have to ignore your senses and hold unto your faith.

Holding unto your faith means you keep believing, confessing, and acting as if you have got it.

The faith that conquers is the faith that refuses to bow to defeat, failure, and poverty.

Till I come your way very soon, hold unto your faith and remain victorious!

 

Please watch out for the second part of this article. Don’t miss it!

Beyond Limitations

There are no limitations except the ones you set for yourself. If there is something restricting your progress, it is because you see it as limitation. And as long as you continue to see it as limitation, you will continue to be restricted by it. 

Do you realise that what some people see as limitations are opportunities for others? Francis Madujemu, a Nigerian motivator once narrated the story of a woman could not read and write. This woman went around looking for a job, but no employer was willing to employ her because she could not read and write.

Realising that she could not get a job, she went into business. With strong determination, she grew her business into an empire and became a multi-millionaire.

Dear reader, the only thing stopping you from achieving your aim in life is the limitation you set for yourself. The limitation is that defect, difficulty, or problem that you think is the reason you cannot achieve your goals. 

Regardless of the condition or situation you are in, the fact is, no problem or difficulty can limit your progress in life, unless you allow them. The more you see certain problem as limitation, the more limited you become. If you must overcome any “limitation” and achieve your goal in life, you must be ready to take concrete actions concerning those things you call limitations.

Below are five steps you can take to overcome all your limitations.

1.   Stop Building Limitations

A Sorneo proverb says, “Where the heart is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuse; where the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways.”

Those limitations you have built are the walls that have restricted your onward movement. To make progress in life, you must knock down those limitations by refusing to see them as limitations.

There is no condition you are in today that others have not been into, but those who refused to see the condition as limitations, went beyond their limitations and became great.

Stop seeing problems as limitations. Problems are part of life and they are not meant to restrict us. If they are meant to restrict us, then, all the super successful people in the society would have been restricted in life. They had challenges (and lots of them) as well, but they refused to allow the challenges to hold them down.

Stop building limitations by refusing to see all the problems that confront you as limitations.

2.   Condition Your Mind to Possibilities

“If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23). Norman Vincent Peale, the author of “The Amazing Results of Positive Thinking”, narrated the story of two men who fell into a newly-dug grave while passing through the cemetery in the night. The first person that fell into the grave tried several times to get out but could not. He gave up trying.

 Another man, unaware that a fresh grave was dug on the way he normally passed every night from his place of work to his home, fell into the same grave. He made an attempt to get out of the grave, but the man who had fell into the grave before him advised him not to bother himself as it was impossible to do so. The second man ignored him and made several attempts. After sometime, he got out of the grave, leaving the other man there.

The starting point to overcoming your limitations is BELIEVING that you can overcome them. Often, what stops people from overcoming in life is not lack of ability, but unbelief. Unbelief shuts down your abilities and prevents you from trying your best to succeed. Belief on the other hand, triggers or awakens your abilities and prompts you to get the “seemingly impossible” done.

The illiterate woman above did not conclude it was all over because she could not get a job. Rather, she believed that despite her lack of education, she could still achieve outstanding success. And she did!

Dear reader, it is not the giants on the Promised Land that is the problem; it is your belief system. Do you believe you can overcome the giants in the Promised Land? Do you believe you can be victorious in every aspect of your life? You need to constantly work on your mind. Don’t allow any unpleasant situation to make you doubt your ability. Train yourself to always believe that you can achieve any goal you set for yourself.

3.   Think Out of the Box

What does thinking out of the box mean? To think out of the box means not to be rigid in your line of thinking. When you are rigid in your thinking, you always hold the belief that there is only one way of doing a particular thing, and unless one does such a thing in that particular way, there is no assurance of success.

Dear reader, do not limit yourself in your thinking. There is no limit to what you can think of and because there is no limit to what you can think of, there is no limit to what you can do. IF YOU CAN THINK AND IMAGINE THINGS, THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE ON EARTH.

The woman had no education but she was not rigid in her thinking. She was flexible in her thinking. She thought out of the box by refusing to conclude that being employed was the only of making a fortune in life. She thought out of the box by saying, “If I can,t be employed, I can at least employ myself and still succeed in life.

Like this woman, when you are in a fix, don’t be rigid in your thinking. Be flexible. There are many ways you can succeed in life. It is not only through one way that you can succeed in life. WHEN YOU THINK OUT OF THE BOX, THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE IN LIFE.

4.   Resolve to Actualise Your Ideas

Action is the mother of all achievements. It is not enough to think out of the box, you must also take positive steps to practicalise the ideas. You may have million-dollar ideas but unless you do something about them, you are not going to make millions from those ideas.

The woman did not only think out of the box, she also took steps to practicalise her business idea.

It takes strong determination to actualise one’s ideas. The woman had no education, but she had strong determination and this was her saving grace.

Dear reader, if you must overcome your “limitations” and achieve great success in life, you must:

•   Stop building limitation. Nothing can be a limitation to your progress in life except the one you consider to be a limitation.

•  Condition your mind to possibilities. Instead of doubting the successful outcome of your enterprise, believe all things are possible. Successful businesses are run by people who BELIEVE that things will turn out well.

• Think out of the box by training your mind to believe that it is not only through one method that you can succeed. There are many successful principles you can apply to succeed in life.

•   Resolve to actualise your ideas. Determine to put in all the effort you can muster to get things done.

This is the way to overcome your limitations and only those who follow this way will be victorious in life!

Compatibility in Relationship

Compatibility is an essential factor in a relationship. The Bible says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3). For a relationship to thrive between two persons, there must of necessity be a MUTUAL agreement between the duo. 

Often, you here a person say, “My wife and I are not compatible; we disagree on almost all issues.” And this makes me to think that we don’t seem to fully grasp what compatibility in relationship is all about. 

For any relationship to thrive, we need to fully understand what compatibility in relationship is all about. Here are tips to reflect upon: 

1.   No Two Persons Can Completely Be Alike

 

To be compatible in relationship, the two parties don’t have to be completely alike. The fact is, no two persons can be completely alike. Scientists have made us to understand that out of the 6.7 million people of the world, we cannot find two persons that are completely alike. Even among siblings and twins, you can’t find a replica. Each person is unique and original, with different character, mannerisms, idiosyncrasies, etc.

For this reason, relationship is not meant to be an agreement between two persons of similar character, personality, and idiosyncrasies. Compatibility in relationship should be best understood as a relationship between two persons of different character and idiosyncrasies.

And since two persons cannot exactly be alike, there is bound to be disagreement, conflicting opinions, and dispute when two persons agree to enter into relationship. So, it is not strange to disagree or have dispute and conflict. What is really strange is when there is no disagreement, dispute, or conflict between two parties in a relationship.

2.   No Perfect Person in a Relationship

 Since no one is perfect, we should not expect any person to be perfect in a relationship. Everyone has his or her own weakness, shortcoming, defect, and flaw. To ignore this fact is to ruin a relationship. No one is perfect. Just as you are not perfect, don’t expect your friend, partner, or spouse to be perfect. There are lots of hypocrisies in relationship these days and they are not helping relationship to thrive. We tend to expect too much from the other partner while we ourselves cannot give what we are expecting from others. That is not fair.

3.   Every Relationship Has Flaws

There are flaws in any relationship and the reason for this is that we are not perfect. This human imperfection rubs off on our relationship. To deny this fact is to be pretentious or hypocritical.

If you are having problem in your marriage and other couples in your neighbourhood seem to have no problem in their marriages, that their marriages are perfect. They may also have similar or bigger problems in their marriages. If they come to you to tell you that their marriages are perfect, it is a lie, don’t believe it. Perhaps, they have learned to endure their marriage.

4.   Relationship is all About Tolerance

Relationship will be enjoyed when both parties learn to tolerate each other. The reason people complain of incompatibility in relationship is that they expect too much from their partner and when this is not forth coming, they become disappointed. But they fail to realise that that they themselves are also not giving out the “much” that is expected of them.

For any relationship to thrive, it is my considered opinion that both parties must learn to tolerate each other’s imperfection. Both parties should learn to be sincere to each other. In any relationship, cooperation of both parties is essential, as the effort of only one party is not enough to make the relationship thrive.

I think this is what compatibility in relationship is all about – a union of two persons who, in spite of their differences, defect, character, mannerisms, and idiosyncrasies, have learned to tolerate and cooperate with each other.

On Relationship

Relationship is supposed to be a focal point here at centreforvictoriousliving.com. For a motivational and personal development blog of this nature which teaches success principles and rules for victorious living, I feel our MANDATE will be incomplete if the subject of relationship is completely abandoned.

One of the benefits of having your mission statement written on paper, on your blog or website, and in your heart (mind) is that it helps you to remain focused and if there are things you ought to do which you are not doing, your mission statement will alert you. Then you will begin to fill you are not really accomplishing your mission. Consequently, you will be propelled to start doing those things you have abandoned.

So, the subject of relationship is not incompatible with Centre For Victorious Living (CFVL). It is just that I have realised that I cannot and should not continue pursuing our mandate unless I bring back that which we have abandoned, which is the subject of relationship.

Now, I am glad to bring on stream this important subject –RELATIONSHIP. This subject is going to be a category distinct from the others. So, all articles on relationship will be filed on RELATIONSHIP category.

I believe good relationship is sine qua non to our success, happiness, and fulfilment. I also believe that education, enlightenment, and information will go a long way in strengthening relationship.

Be that as it may, my writing here is not to show how perfect I am in respect of relationship. I don’t think I should be a perfect person before I can write on relationship. So, what I am doing here is to share with you principles that work in relationship. I know that these principles work and that is why I will not hesitate to share them any time, any day, anywhere. 

CFVL is all about sharing and contributing. If after reading and applying the principles contained in any of the articles on this blog, and they work for you, then I am fulfilled. You know, life is not about accumulation, but contribution. This is my own way of contributing positively to the betterment of the society. I hope to be bringing you, regularly, inspirational and life changing articles that will help you stay motivated for success and fulfilment.