Compatibility in Relationship

Compatibility is an essential factor in a relationship. The Bible says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3). For a relationship to thrive between two persons, there must of necessity be a MUTUAL agreement between the duo. 

Often, you here a person say, “My wife and I are not compatible; we disagree on almost all issues.” And this makes me to think that we don’t seem to fully grasp what compatibility in relationship is all about. 

For any relationship to thrive, we need to fully understand what compatibility in relationship is all about. Here are tips to reflect upon: 

1.   No Two Persons Can Completely Be Alike

 

To be compatible in relationship, the two parties don’t have to be completely alike. The fact is, no two persons can be completely alike. Scientists have made us to understand that out of the 6.7 million people of the world, we cannot find two persons that are completely alike. Even among siblings and twins, you can’t find a replica. Each person is unique and original, with different character, mannerisms, idiosyncrasies, etc.

For this reason, relationship is not meant to be an agreement between two persons of similar character, personality, and idiosyncrasies. Compatibility in relationship should be best understood as a relationship between two persons of different character and idiosyncrasies.

And since two persons cannot exactly be alike, there is bound to be disagreement, conflicting opinions, and dispute when two persons agree to enter into relationship. So, it is not strange to disagree or have dispute and conflict. What is really strange is when there is no disagreement, dispute, or conflict between two parties in a relationship.

2.   No Perfect Person in a Relationship

 Since no one is perfect, we should not expect any person to be perfect in a relationship. Everyone has his or her own weakness, shortcoming, defect, and flaw. To ignore this fact is to ruin a relationship. No one is perfect. Just as you are not perfect, don’t expect your friend, partner, or spouse to be perfect. There are lots of hypocrisies in relationship these days and they are not helping relationship to thrive. We tend to expect too much from the other partner while we ourselves cannot give what we are expecting from others. That is not fair.

3.   Every Relationship Has Flaws

There are flaws in any relationship and the reason for this is that we are not perfect. This human imperfection rubs off on our relationship. To deny this fact is to be pretentious or hypocritical.

If you are having problem in your marriage and other couples in your neighbourhood seem to have no problem in their marriages, that their marriages are perfect. They may also have similar or bigger problems in their marriages. If they come to you to tell you that their marriages are perfect, it is a lie, don’t believe it. Perhaps, they have learned to endure their marriage.

4.   Relationship is all About Tolerance

Relationship will be enjoyed when both parties learn to tolerate each other. The reason people complain of incompatibility in relationship is that they expect too much from their partner and when this is not forth coming, they become disappointed. But they fail to realise that that they themselves are also not giving out the “much” that is expected of them.

For any relationship to thrive, it is my considered opinion that both parties must learn to tolerate each other’s imperfection. Both parties should learn to be sincere to each other. In any relationship, cooperation of both parties is essential, as the effort of only one party is not enough to make the relationship thrive.

I think this is what compatibility in relationship is all about – a union of two persons who, in spite of their differences, defect, character, mannerisms, and idiosyncrasies, have learned to tolerate and cooperate with each other.